Everyone wants to be listened to, especially young people. That’s why being a good listener is a great and useful gift that you can give to them. When you really listen to a young person, you’ll be able to open many doors in the relationship, as this will also make them feel valued and acknowledged.
Good news: being a good listener is not an attribute you’re born with. It’s a skill that you can train and develop. So let’s see where you can start.
Active listening consists of several specific techniques.
Firstly, in order to be an effective listener, active listening must be firmly grounded in your basic attitudes. You cannot employ it as a technique if your fundamental attitudes are in conflict with the basic concept of active listening (that is, showing a genuine interest in the other person and their situation). You need an Inner Readiness to be involved fully.
Support and encouragement during the conversation
Use a short phrase, body gesture or a word to show the other person that you’re listening. This also creates a friendly atmosphere.
For example, “Yes.“; „Really?”; “OK”; “That’s interesting!”; nodding and/or smiling.
Mirroring
To encourage the person to continue talking, you can also use mirroring, which involves repeating almost exactly what the speaker says. This should be short and simple. It’s usually enough to just repeat the key words or the last few words that were spoken. Intonation plays a major role in this respect.
Paraphrasing
It means using different words to reflect what the speaker has said. Not only does it show that you are listening, it also demonstrates that you’re attempting to understand what the speaker is saying. When paraphrasing, it’s very important that you don’t introduce your own ideas or questions concerning the speaker’s thoughts, feelings or actions.
Possible ways to start paraphrasing:
• “If I understand you correctly...”
• “So, in other words it could be….”
• “Let me put it like this…”
• “Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you trying to say…”
Reflection of feelings and emotions
Feelings and emotions are an inevitable part of any relationship. Every story a young person tells you will be packed with emotions. By feeding this back to them, you’re helping them to understand themselves better.
The main sources of emotional content are the speaker’s body language and tone of voice.
Example phrases:
• “It seems like that made you feel very angry.”
• “It sounds as though you are very excited about this!”
• “From the way you talk about this, it looks like you are worried / happy / disappointed...”
Open questions
It can be very helpful to ask open questions instead of closed ones when you’re trying to understand a person’s situation from a deeper and wider perspective. Closed questions usually do not serve this purpose, so asking a lot of them may sound like an interrogation.
Example:
“How did you feel when you heard that?” instead of “You felt confused, didn’t you?”
Practice
Practicing active listening is essential. Ask your colleague to be your practice partner. One person tells a story (it can be some memorable moment or some professional challenge) and another one is trying active listening techniques.
Make sure to reflect after the practice from both perspectives:
- How did you feel when telling the story and how much you felt being listened and supported?
- How was it to be an active listener and facilitate through listening?
Check for more useful resources on supporting young person one to one in the handbook "One To One: Supporting Learning Face to Face" (check the link to book below)
View the video to learn some additional key aspects of active listening.
Resources
- Watch the video on basic features of active listening
- Read the handbook One-2-One
- Download the presentation, which was prepared by Laimonas Ragauskas at the aligned modular course for youth workers on facilitating learning.
Earn a badge by reflecting on your active listening experience and identifying a few things which are important to you when making attempt to be an active listener in the context of youth work or education.
- Readiness to include a space for emotions
- Skill of initiating and supporting self-reflection on learning
- Ability to guide others to channel feelings into action, including in online environments, where appropriate.
Want to endorse (?) our organisation, this activity and/or badge - send us an email! Contact us at info@awero.org for further questions
Source of the content of this activity: Handbook "One To One: Supporting Learning Face to Face", Monika Kėžaitė–Jakniūnienė, Mark E. Taylor, JUGEND für Europa/ SALTO Training & Cooperation